In leu of all this, I'd like to post a quick story in the now 13 minutes that I have left on my break:
A man, a real salty son of a bitch, who has been giving everyone nothing but attitude throughout his entire stay, approaches me inquiring about reserving a limo to the airport tomorrow.
Man - "I need a stretch limo to the airport tomorrow."
Doorman - "Okay, how many people and how many suitcases?"
Man - "Six people, seven suitcases."
Doorman - "Okay."
Doorman - "That'll be $130, which includes all tolls and taxes. Though it doesn't include a tip for the driver."
Not that the driver would benefit much from this fucking asshole.
Man - "No! No! Unacceptable! I have another company that will charge me only $110!"
I didn't have time for haggling. It was pouring, people needed taxis, and there was money to be made.
Doorman - "So why don't you call that company then?"
A staredown. He gives me his best poker face. I wanted to see if he was bluffing. We intensely studied each other. I could tell he was a shiester, a real penny-pincher. He was eyeballing me big-time, as if all of the money were going into my pocket. He was sadly mistaken.
I refuse to break eye contact. Ten seconds go by. His eyes look away and his gaze hits the floor. He is defeated.
Man - "Fine. $130 is okay."
I take his information and smugly slide the reservation card across the bell desk. He doesn't thank me. Not that I give a fuck, I just guaranteed a nice little commission to be waiting for me when I come in tomorrow.
Unless, of course, he just went and called the other guy.
Okay, break's over. Bye.