It's been a truly hectic couple of weeks because of reasons I don't expect you to care about. Or maybe you might? But it's none of your business. Sorry.
Also, work has been fairly uneventful over the past month. And by "uneventful", I mean "it's been busy and I've been making money", so I haven't had much of a chip on my shoulder as motivation to write about anything interesting. See? I don't want to be boring. It shows that I care.
To avoid falling off the grid again, I've decided to treat you all to a few videos I've done over the years. Most of them are sketches and scenes I wrote and produced, and the rest are ones where I was just a hired actor.
Whatever the case, I hope they make your day go by quicker. I obviously no longer have a problem with associating my face and name with this blog, so I might as well share it all while I still have you here. Enjoy!
Troy the Tornado (2007)
This was my first audition out of college, a viral commercial for Nathan's Famous to promote the annual 4th of July hot dog eating contest. First audition out of the gate into the real world, and I beat out hundreds of guys to land a Nathan's commercial. I thought I was destined for fast-food stardom.
The idea was that they would post this viral video and have it circulate about a month before the contest. The premise of the clip was an American, played by me, furiously training and calling out perennial champ Takeru Kobayashi in hopes of bringing the title back to America. Unfortunately, some asshole named Joey Chestnut came in and did just that, leaving Troy the Tornado swirling in the wind. Still, I think the video is hilarious. (I also ate 19 hot dogs in 6 hours while filming this, so, yeah, labor of love and stuff.)
You're Beautiful (2006)
Written and Directed by a hilarious comedian named Juliet Fitzgerald, this parody will eternally ruin the creeptastic James Blunt song about falling in love with a woman on the subway. I got this gig by responding to a MySpace bulletin, and it quickly went viral shortly after it was posted.
Blogger is not letting me embed it, so you can find it by CLICKING HERE. Fucking blogger.
Love Stinks (2008)
Technically, this is my first short film. Shot in three hours at my buddy's house, this 6-minute movie was based on the time I was on a date and accidentally made a romantic gesture while trying to cover up a putrid fart. Obviously, everyone thought I was the second coming of Paul Thomas Anderson at the time of it's release:
This is the first pilot Greg Caiafa and I produced together along with a good friend of ours named Dru Robertson. It was called West Brighton, a post-9/11 family drama which takes place in my hometown of Staten Island, written by Dru and myself. We were all fresh out of college and still figuring out how the fuck to make a movie. The show never panned out, but this scene, albeit a little sloppy technically, was one that we were really proud of in the end:
I think it's a taboo thing to openly talk about loving Coldplay, but I'll admit anyway - I do love me some Coldplay. One of my favorites by them, Fix You, is a song that has a certain formula when used in film and television. I've seen it used several times and every time, without fail, the filmmakers do the exact same thing when the music swells. So here's a parody I came up with that was co-developed and directed by Kevin Losani, founder of the sketch group Muckrakers. Enjoy!
I was part of the writing team of this short superhero film, which was written, shot and edited in 72-hours as part of the National Film Race. See if you can guess which costumed character I play:
Once again, fucking blogger won't let me embed the fucking video. CLICK HERE TO WATCH.
Because, why not? Also, I want to shoot more this summer, and I want you to be as excited about it as I am!
That's all for now. Maybe I'll update it later, but I have to leave for work. Hopefully something bad happens and I'll have something to write about tomorrow.