Upon making a withdrawal at TD bank, I was greeted by a friendly, gorgeous bank teller:
Doorman- "I'd like to make a withdrawal, please."
Girl - "Your name is Christopher Michael Russell the third?"
Girl - "Wow, that's quite the regal name you have!"
Doorman - "Thanks! Never heard that before."
Girl - "Are you going to name your son Christopher the 4th?"
Doorman - "I'm not married, so I have a while to think about that."
Girl - "You're not married? That's surprising!"
Doorman - "Not yet!"
She's hitting on you, dummy.
Girl -"So when you get married, will your son be the 4th?"
Doorman - "Well, it'll probably be up to my wife."
Girl - "Good answer!"
She smiles again, this time more inviting. She wants me to ask for her number. I panic.
Doorman - "So, uh, er... it's too bad my bank account doesn't reflect my regal name."
She laughs. There still may be hope.
Girl - "Would you like the balance, Christopher?"
Say something suave.
Doorman - "Nope, don't remind me."
She hands me my receipt.
Girl - "Here you go!"
Doorman - "Thank you."
I stand there stupidly for what seems an eternity. I try to make a sentence with my mouth, but the words are jumbled in my brain. She looks up from the computer and smiles.
Girl - "Is there anything else I can help you with, Mr. Russell the third?"
Would you maybe want to get a drink with me sometime? WOULD YOU MAYBE WANT TO GET A DRINK WITH ME SOMETIME?
Doorman - "Um, uh... you know what? I'll take that balance!"
Her smile fades to befuddled disbelief.
Girl - "Of your checking account?"
Doorman - "Yes, please."
Girl - "Oh-kay... I'll need your debit card again."
Doorman - "You know what? Never mind!"
I turn and bolt out, outrunning my dignity by a mile. Better luck next time.
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